…before the “porn parody craze”. Some press releases like to tout that director so-an-so created the ‘porn parody genre’. Not so. In a world where life imitates art the porn biz has been trading on parodies long before the current “It’s not_____(fill in the blank) XXX; a Porn Parody(.com)” phase. Here are a few that either partially or totally fall into the ‘Porn Parody Category’ that I have been in since the beginning of my career. I am sure I missed a few as well.

Since everyone is all abuzz about the upcoming Star Wars XXX porn parody I figured I would look it up and see how many there were. 

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• Ace Mulholland: Sex Detective
• Babewatch 1, 2, 4, 13, 14                                                             
• Beauty and the Bitch
• Cheating Housewives 3
• Face Jam
• Hung Wankenstein
• In the Flesh
• Mommy Rearest
• Never Say Never               
• Never Say Never…Again
• O: The Power of Submission
• Predator 3
• Something About Kylie
• Titty Slickers 2
• Uninhibited Girl
• Whore Of The Rings

Just wanted to let you know that my ‘about me’ section on my website has been updated! Be sure to check out my all new ‘biography o’ kylie’, my ‘awards list’ and  my updated ‘movie list’ which includes not only all the movies I have ever done but titles I have directed, produced, done production design on and my mainstream appearances!

click here —-> http://kylieireland.com/aboutme.html or on the ‘about me’ link on the right side of my blog

me, me, me....it's all about me!

Next I will be updating ‘ask kylie’ which is my faq section. For the moment those are still a bit outdated – although still very interesting – so be sure to look for that new updated section later this week!

Last night’s radio show was awesome fun (really, when is it not?)…thank you to my Elvish-speaking 100% Goldstar Lesbian guest Lily Cade. It was, as promised a sexy-geeky night of entertainment that included a bit of Star Wars and Star Trek, some trampolining, caller mockery and I, of course, took advantage of having a real live lesbian in my midst and asked all the questions I had always wanted to ask but never had a lesbian to do so.

Here is the link to Lily’s blog about the show on her website: http://lilycade.com/blog/?p=329

Lily Cade...lookin a bit blurry but tough.

Thrown into the mix was our celebrity call screener Debi Diamond who was having WAY too much fun answering calls, flashing us her titties and regaling us with tales of strange things that had been in her ass including motor oil (not really, it was vegetable oil made to look like motor oil in her scene with Bionca and Tami Ann) and ketchup.

Burnin up the phone lines...

Avid listener and radio pirate Captain Dave found this clip of their acceptance speech from the 1994 AVN Awards for the motor oil scene in Depraved Fantasies. Brilliant! http://youtu.be/iS6UYEa4-Bc

Here are some stellar quotes to show you what you are missing if you aren’t listening:

“Lily Cade is not weird. She’s just a lesbian” –Kylie

Kylie on James Barrett’s email: “Respect my wishes? My wish is you to fuck off.”

Lily Cade on anger management: “I got mad. So I got trashed and fucked five girls.”

On Lily Cade’s penis size: “Mine’s bigger than yours. It’s in my car. I’ll try mine on you first.”

“I was sticking an ass camera up my yoo-hoo?” – a caller misunderstanding about Kylie’s scene in Deep Anal Abyss 3

The Anal Legend continues: “I stuck it up my ass, it came out my mouth and then stuck it up my ass again.” -Kylie

“My dog had a rectal prolapse. We had to put it back in.” – Lily Cade on her dog

“I’ve been fucking a girl, and she likes it. She’s a prostitute. She walks the streets.” –caller wisdom

From Debi Diamond: “I had a caller say he just lost IQ points listening to him.” (RE: The Masturbating Redneck)

(In your best southern accent) “Men like to masturbate… it’s part o’ nature” – more caller wisdom

Pickup lines used on Lily Cade: “There’s a McDonald’s across the street. I’ll buy you anything you want.”

Advice from Lily Cade: “If you put Vodka up your butt, you can die.”

“If it’s weird, you ask Debi.” – Kylie

Lily Cade’s next parody: “Star Trek Tribbles Episode XXX: Tribble X”

“How to make a lesbian MORE off-limits? She’s married.” -Kylie

“I am a good caller. That’s a real secret password. Nobody’s gonna remember that.” – White Chocolate; caller

Lily Cade on anal: “You can put a foot in. You can put 25 dicks in. But you can’t put in a fist.”

“I got a married lesbian on a trampoline. How often can I say that?” -Kylie

“It’s like group sex, but not. It’s just group.” -Kylie

“Oh God! Am I gay for listening to a station with gay guys on it?” –Kylie wonders aloud for her listener base

Lily said: “If your girlfriend is a lesbian, that means she’s not fucking you.”  Caller’s response: “Yeah, she does.”

Kylie to a caller: “Can you hear Lily’s tits?”

Even the listeners were quote-worthy:

“100% Lesbian? Are other girls made of “Corn Meal and Lesbian By-Product“? “ – @1captaindave via Twitter

A question for Lily Cade: “Any advice to woo a woman obsessed with “Lord of the Rings”? – @1captaindave via Twitter

“And now, music to… awww, my Sirius/XM player crapped out. Perfect timing.” – @1captaindave via Twitter

***

Random lesbian fact of the day courtesy of Jim at www.jerkboxblog.blogspot.com:

Tribadism is derived from the word “tribade” which prior to 1965 meant “lesbian.”

***

Next weekend I have Sinn Sage joining me on Sunday…right now Saturday is open so go bug your favorite porn chick and have her contact me for this Saturday or a future appearance! (kylie@kylieireland.com)

Sinn Sage...

Join us on Spice Radio * Sirius 108/XM 248/Web 824 * Every Sat & Sun night from 7-11pm PST * Laugh. Love. Lol.

—> No Sirius radio? Listen to me LIVE on the internet… FREE 7day trial: http://www.sirius.com/freetrial Now you have NO excuse for missing it!

I get alot of listeners calling into the radio show asking about how to squirt…so here is my blog from when I taught myself how….

Squirting 101 – How Kylie learned to squirt!

I remembered Flower Tucci talking about how she said she taught herself to do it so I figured I would give it a try. I had squirted before, my boyfriend could make it happen but it was really difficult and a lot of patience and work and I didn’t know how to harness the feeling. Then later the guys in the biz who knew how to make a girl squirt could get me to do it – Manuel Ferrara, Steve Holmes – but they way they do it is more of a “forced squirting” by putting extreme hard and fast pressure on the g-spot. Though this looks cool on camera in the movies, it is not as enjoyable for the woman. It wasn’t until I was bored late one summer night that I decided to give that Njoy toy a test drive. And I’ll be damned if it didn’t work!

Njoy Stainless Steel Dildo http://njoytoys.com/products/purewand.php

I just laid on my back comfortably, head on a pillow and a couple towels under my ass. I inserted the large end and found my g-spot (which is sort-of behind my pelvic bone) and just started working it. It felt good so I kept going, then suddenly my pussy was filled up with fluid and as I fucked myself I flooded the towel…it just poured out of me.

There was no way I moved my body, I just moved the toy mostly (the weight of it is wonderful) and instead of tightening my muscles I tried to relax them. Like you have heard it does feel a little like you have to pee, so I just relaxed and didn’t try to stop the feeling. It was different from the traditional clitoral orgasm I am used to, not as strong, but I could definitely feel it. It tastes sweet.

It was actually so cool that I immediately called and related the entire story to my best girlfriend, who that same night did what I described and had exactly the same results!

Since then I have practiced and learned to recognize the feeling and worked on technique. I have tried other toys but nothing works as well as that Njoy wand. I learned the right moment to push/squeeze so that I can actually “squirt” instead of just “flooding”. When I am getting close if I touch my clit with a vibrator (I prefer the Hitachi) I will have a much better orgasm and actually squirt more, and I will get some distance out of it.

http://www.amazon.com/Vibratex-HV-250R-Hitachi-Magic-Massager/dp/B00005M1WE

The amount of water I drink (over the course of the day, not immediately before) does affect how much I can squirt – normally I drink approx 60 oz. of water per day – and if I am hydrated I will flood the bed several times in one session, if I am not that hydrated or it’s a hot day, there won’t be as much fluid.

One night I was bent over the bed, standing on the floor, fucking my ass with a toy and I started feeling that familiar feeling, I realized that I was hitting my g-spot through my ass. I kept going and suddenly my inner thighs and legs were wet and I was dripping. It was not as much fluid as with the Njoy but then again the contact with my g-spot was less direct. At that point I was so turned on and that coupled with fucking my ass…I came…hard. Never touched my clit.

I have heard women say that once the waterworks are turned on, it’s hard to turn them off. I now squirt often, usually while getting my ass fucked – for some reason the place my g-spot is located is stimulated best by either the extreme curve of the Njoy Wand in my pussy or with a cock hitting it through my ass. Every woman is different so it will take some time and experimentation to figure out what is the right combination for you.

In the movie Black Rayne, I squirt repeatedly all over Amber’s face using the Njoy/Hitachi combination. It’s hot!

I think LEARNING to squirt is something a girl should learn to do by herself, alone. The added pressure of someone in the room, trying to help or not, makes it more distracting. Once you learn to do it, and continue to practice, you will find it easier and easier, and you will be excited to show off!

If you have success and learn to squirt please let me know…send me an email, call into the radio show! I would love to know if this works for anyone else. Likewise if you have suggestions or want to share something that worked for you, please add your comments!

If you have questions please post them here as well and I will answer to the best of my knowledge.

Good luck!

Kylie

PS. The above is based on my experiences, I do not claim to be an expert.

We have ducks in our pool. Apparantly, according to our apartment building historians, this ducky couple returns to our pool every year. Honeymoon?

If nothing else, it keeps the kitties entertained.

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Thank you to last night’s guest on my radio show, Samantha Ryan…

Samantha Ryan

A fascinating if not somewhat scatterbrained show for sure…in addition to a bit of sexy time we discussed politics, religion, poker, classical piano sports and gay catbutt licking. Samantha is a very multifaceted individual! My special call screener for the evening, Julia Ann – in between fielding calls from other radio stations and guys wanting to date her – contributed her mad singing skills and her love of Santana in addition to stories from ‘Julia Ann’s world of NO’ including the desire to use a funnel, wanting to have her ‘tub filled’ and fantasies of being duct taped and thrown in the trunk of a car. Oh, and don’t forget breast milk icecream!

Julia Ann

Don’t just take it from me, read the rave reviews and the quotes of the evening for yourself:

From Twitter:

“Women who can talk politics, sports, current events & rant are VERY sexy! Epic show on Spice.”   – @wordmandc  

“u did great on the show!!! You’re fiery I like that! I would let Julia use a funnel on me. Lol!” – @bigmike5494

“A #Jerkbox show for the record books. Great show from @kylieireland @SammyRyRy and @therealJuliaAnn. #standingovation” -@1captaindave

“I have an opinion on world politics AND I take it up the ass. What more do you want?” – Kylie

“So you’re trying to nail old women by hanging around a nursing home? Do you steal her pudding too?” – Producer Mike

“We did ‘Music to Fuck By’? Sweet! We don’t have to do it again!” – Kylie (damn my outside voice!)

“The intarweb is an amazing thing.” –Kylie

“I wasn’t listening. Your producer was telling me how he shot himself in the mouth w/his own sperm.” – Julia Ann

“Welcome to Julia Ann’s dating service. This is Kylie, how can I help you?” –Kylie (answering random phone call)

“This show is fucked up, and I blame the tsunami.” – Kylie

“Did we talk about sex tonight? Oh yeah, we had the goatfucker on.” – Julia Ann (about a call she screened from a guy who said he’d been fucking goats for 14 years. She hung up on him.)

Do your homework:

Samantha:

• www.samantharyanlive.com
• www.Twitter.com/sammyryry

Julia:

• www.juliaann.com
• www.twitter.com/therealjuliaann

 Tonight I have Lily Cade. I met Lily once on a movie set a couple years ago but we were just reacquainted this week when she showed up to the Star Wars XXX auditions. I immediately snagged her for the radio show.

She might describe herself as 100% lesbian porn star and model but she is 100% geek and knew her Star Wars. So expect some extreme geeky sexiness on Sunday.

Lily Cade (left)

Do your homework:

• www.twitter.com/lily_cade
• www.facebook.com/lilycade
• www.lilycade.com

*Also, there is a rumor floating around that Debi Diamond might be hanging out to answer my phones tonight as well….

Join us on Spice Radio * Sirius 108/XM 248/Web 824 * Every Sat & Sun night from 7-11pm PST * Laugh. Love. Lol.

—-> No Sirius radio? Listen to me LIVE on the internet… FREE 7day trial: http://www.sirius.com/freetrial  Now you have NO excuse for missing it!

This weekend I have two fabulous guests joining me on my radio show; On Saturday March 12th, the lovely Samantha Ryan! I had the pleasure of working with Samantha once for Sweetheart Video…in fact we looked so good together we grace the main page of their website!

http://www.sweetheartvideo.com

Samantha describes herself on her Twitter page as “Model/Actress who loves playing piano and singing, politics, poker, and a good adrenaline rush!!!” …I approve highly.

Do your homework: www.samantharyanlive.com and www.Twitter.com/sammyryry

On Sunday March 13, I have Lily Cade. I met Lily once on a movie set a couple years ago but we were just reaquainted this week when she showed up to the Star Wars XXX auditions. I immediately snagged her for the radio show.

She might describe herself as 100% lesbian porn star and model but she is 100% geek and knew her Star Wars. So expect some extreme geeky sexiness on Sunday.

Do your homework: www.twitter.com/lily_cade and www.lilycade.com

Join us on Spice Radio * Sirius 108/XM 248/Web 824 * Every Sat & Sun night from 7-11pm PST * Laugh. Love. Lol.

—-> No Sirius radio? Listen to me LIVE on the internet… FREE 7day trial: http://www.sirius.com/freetrial  Now you have NO excuse for missing it!

It’s been awhile since my last camshow since we have been busy working on several different production design gigs…but I have today off and I am feeling feisty…wanna come watch me do dirty things to myself? I am thinking I will go LIVE around 3pm PST.

I always post on Twitter and FB before I go LIVE so if you follow me on either check there to make sure I am on time (I usually run about 10-15 minutes late)…

www.kylieireland.cammodels.com

A pic from before a camshow...

Here my profile from cammodels.com to entice you:

 Kylie Ireland

Pornstar. Legend. Filthy Whore. Anal Required.

 

Another self-pic from before a camshow...

So go sign up right now – it’s FREE to sign up and join in the pre-show chat (which lasts for a few minutes before I am swept away into private) and come let me be a very naughty girl – just for you!

Last month Andy and I did production design on Scream XXX.

The mask from Scream XXX: the Porn Parody

Here is the official Scream XXX trailer! http://youtu.be/R_7IrvCahc4 Note the familiar face at approximately :41 sec.

Since I wasn’t blogging then I want to link you to Andy’s daily blog about the shoot:

Busy Workin’ on Set: 

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/busy-workin-on-set/

Scream: a XXX Parody:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/10/scream-an-xxx-parody/ 

First Dialogue Day:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/first-dialogue-day/ 

My Scenes are Done:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/my-scenes-are-done/

The Shoot Continues:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/the-shoot-continues/

Still Rolling:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/still-rolling/

Final Day:

http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/02/13/i-have-a-blog-missing/

Video Clip from behind-the-scenes of Scream XXX:

http://www.twitvid.com/5UC4O  Fish Packs?

Andy has been working on sorting the pix and writing a blog about The Great Death Valley Camping Adventure…so instead of having repeat blogs here is the link to his: http://theandyappleton.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/the-desert-adventure-part-1/

Mind you, this is only part one…there is more coming.

However I did want to share a few more pix in addition to his blog entry and photos…

Off on adventures....me appling sunblock, as usual.

Hiking Marble Canyon...this is my natural pose.

Me blending into the scenery above Marble Canyon

Lost.... (not really)

Been through the desert on a horse with no name...

We are headed here.

Sand Dunes in the Death Valley

Watching the sunrise. It was cold!

More later…..